i sing out of the side of my mouth as opposed to the centre

its pretty fucking unattractive

I am so uncompetitive that its ridiculous

seriously try to involve me in something with points and scoring and i want to run away and hide

i cry embarrassingly easily at movies, tv shows and songs and it’s really horrible to witness

my due-date was actually five days later

i was supposed to be born on Halloween

way to fuck that one up baby!me that’s great thanks

my favourite Bond is Timothy Dalton

i dont like to bring this fact out in public in case i get shot at

i don’t

actually

like the Beatles

now, you’re not to know this, but for a brief period of about four months about a year and a half ago i worked as a burlesque dancer

my favourite Harry Potter character

like

above all of them

is Gilderoy Lockhart

i’m gonna cheat now because this fact isn’t about me it’s about my dog

my dog’s full name is Usquebaugh but that’s a mouthful so everybody calls him Uisge, which is the shortened version

it’s the Scottish word for ‘whisky’ (meaning ‘Water of Life’) and the Each Uisge is also a type of Scottish water-spirit similar to the kelpie but we weren’t actually aware of that when he named him so my dog’s named after a weird carnivorous horse-shaped thing good

he’s a pedigree Cairn terrier but he’s broken - he has a floppy ear and his legs are really short and his coat is all wrong but he is the best dog in the world and I wouldn’t change him for anything

(also his show-name is Wenskip ‘Appy Dayz which is fucking adorable shut up)

when I was a lonely kid of about thirteen/fourteen, I used to breed bettas (Siamese fighting fish)

at one point I kept twenty of them, not counting the females

they were my precious precious babies and I miss them dearly